Losing Them, Losing Me

Getting Grief RightOne of the questions I ask grieving folks who come to see me is, “What part of you did you lose with the person who died?”

The answers to this question are important in understanding our loss. I hear responses such as, “He really got my sense of humor, ” or “She always thought I had great ideas,” or “He understood my family better than anyone.”

To understand the story of our grief, it helps to identify the specific ways we were attached to the one who died. Thus, we miss the person who has died, and we also miss who we were with them. We may not experience ourselves in the same way with anyone else.

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Dr. Patrick O’Malley is a psychotherapist in Fort Worth, Texas, specializing in grief counseling. For 35 years, he has counseled individuals, couples and families in his private practice. Dr. O'Malley has recently published a book, "Getting Grief Right" about grief recovery.

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