Catastrophic Thinking

crazy

People who grieve sometimes respond to “normal events” with catastrophic thinking, a psychological term used to describe when a small event provokes thoughts of a dire conclusion. Your daughter is late, so you fear she has been in an accident. You feel a pain and suddenly you know it is cancer. … [Read more...]

Community

SwanFinal

All who suffer a loss through death do so in a community. Your community may be small or large. Your community may meet your needs for support, or it may withdraw sooner than you wish. How your community responds to you becomes part of your story of loss. You may need additional support outside … [Read more...]

Grief Exhaustion

Thoughtful

Columnist Maureen Dowd recently commented on Vice President Joe Biden’s possible decision to run for president. She wrote that Joe Biden has a dilemma: “How does he honor the wish of his late son, Beau, to run when the death of Beau has left him so depleted he may not be able to run?” “I have … [Read more...]

The Right Way to Grieve

IMG_4133smaller

Understanding how you are “wired” may be helpful to you as you grieve. If you are highly social and need interaction you may desire a good deal of contact with others as you grieve. More introverted grievers may need to withdraw and retreat to process their grief. If you process information … [Read more...]

Compare And Contrast

Bench

We all remember the assignment we were given in English class to compare and contrast. I often hear folks do this exercise with their grief. It is almost always done in a minimizing form, such as “My loss pales in comparison to the story I read in the paper today.” Perhaps there is some value in … [Read more...]

How Is She Doing?

Path

Words used to describe grieving people often measure them in terms of how well they are doing rather than how they are feeling. “How is our mutual friend doing after the death of her mother?” “She is doing really well. She is back to work and looks really good.” Or, “She is a mess. Really not doing … [Read more...]

How to Talk to Someone Grieving

Dr. Patrick O'Malley-Healing Grief

Many years ago I was in a men’s group. One of our group had recently experienced the death of his dad. The leader asked this man if he was “back on track” after the month had passed since his dad’s death. The fellow, who was a soft-spoken sort, looked confused as to how to answer the question. He … [Read more...]