A widowed person recently said to me, “I just don’t want to do this. It hurts too much. I binge watch television, eat comfort food, and try to sleep a lot but I know I am only buying time until the pain returns.” Our basic nature is simple – we seek pleasure and avoid pain. Those of us who … [Read more...]
A mother, whose son died more than five years ago, was concerned something was wrong with her. She had ongoing feelings of sadness when much of her life was going well. “Everything is really good right now. My marriage survived our loss and is stronger than ever. We have had a new baby we adore. I … [Read more...]
Dear Readers, I am pleased to announce the publication of my book, Getting Grief Right: Finding Your Story of Love in the Sorrow of Loss. It will be released on July 1 by the publisher Sounds True, and can be preordered on Amazon. Getting Grief Right chronicles my journey as a young grieving … [Read more...]
A bereaved father recently shared this story with me: “I had to walk out of a work meeting the other day. It was my first week back to work after my daughter’s death, and I found myself completely impatient with my team. The topics were so trivial, and they were so worked up as they talked. At first … [Read more...]
It is a story often repeated this time of year. The three magi come from the east, following a star to find the Christ child. When they find Him they worship Him and present three gifts – gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Theologians and Bible scholars have offered ideas about the symbolic meaning … [Read more...]
Grief, bereavement and mourning are words often used to describe the experience of loss. Each of these words describes a different aspect of this experience. Grief is the noun used to describe all of the feelings inside us after a loss. Bereavement means to be deprived of someone by death. … [Read more...]
Relatives and friends of the recent victims of violence have been emotionally devastated by the recent traumatic deaths that have occurred nationally and internationally. The communities where these events occurred will be changed forever. Even if you do not have a direct connection to those who … [Read more...]
In 2011, writer Meghan O’Rourke and psychologist Leeat Granek wrote a series of articles about grief for Slate magazine based on a survey they conducted (see http://www.slate.com/articles/life/grieving.html). Eight thousand readers responded to questions focused on the emotional and social … [Read more...]
Did you ever have a paper returned in English class with a red mark through a phrase and the notation “avoid clichés?” Imagine this red line when you are talking with someone who is grieving. A cliché is a phrase that once had meaning but has been overused and now has lost its meaning. We use … [Read more...]
People who grieve sometimes respond to “normal events” with catastrophic thinking, a psychological term used to describe when a small event provokes thoughts of a dire conclusion. Your daughter is late, so you fear she has been in an accident. You feel a pain and suddenly you know it is cancer. … [Read more...]