A bereaved father whose daughter died in a car accident described an experience to me that frightened him. “It was a surge of feelings that started in my feet and traveled through my whole body and came out in a primal sound that did not seem like my voice,” he said. Anthropologist Renato … [Read more...]
In a bereaved parents’ meeting, I recently spoke about the desire many parents have to continue the emotional bond with their children who have died. The signs of relief were audible. “I am tired of the pressure to ‘get over’ the death of my daughter,” one mother said. “I will love her and feel … [Read more...]
“May we do something from my culture today?” our Japanese daughter-in-law asked us last Christmas day. “On holidays, we take food to the cemetery and leave it on the graves of our relatives.” And so we did. We loaded up the cars and drove to the cemetery where several of our family members are … [Read more...]
I hear confusion from those who grieve in this holiday season because they experience conflicting emotions. The collision between the expectations of holiday happiness and the personal reality of grief can create confusion. “My feelings go back and forth from the sadness I feel from my loss this … [Read more...]
Dear Readers, This post is longer than usual but due to a recent news event, I wanted to offer some specific ideas about how to respond to the bereaved. President Trump recently asked his Chief of Staff the question "What do I say?" as he prepared to call a Gold Star family. Who among us has not … [Read more...]
“I am so embarrassed,” a client said recently. “My dog died, and I called into work sick for three days. I know so many people who have had real tragedies in their life, and I can’t get it together to get to work because my dog died. I really feel like something must be wrong with me.” Losses … [Read more...]
A widowed person recently said to me, “I just don’t want to do this. It hurts too much. I binge watch television, eat comfort food, and try to sleep a lot but I know I am only buying time until the pain returns.” Our basic nature is simple – we seek pleasure and avoid pain. Those of us who … [Read more...]
A mother, whose son died more than five years ago, was concerned something was wrong with her. She had ongoing feelings of sadness when much of her life was going well. “Everything is really good right now. My marriage survived our loss and is stronger than ever. We have had a new baby we adore. I … [Read more...]
Dear Readers, I am pleased to announce the publication of my book, Getting Grief Right: Finding Your Story of Love in the Sorrow of Loss. It will be released on July 1 by the publisher Sounds True, and can be preordered on Amazon. Getting Grief Right chronicles my journey as a young grieving … [Read more...]
A bereaved father recently shared this story with me: “I had to walk out of a work meeting the other day. It was my first week back to work after my daughter’s death, and I found myself completely impatient with my team. The topics were so trivial, and they were so worked up as they talked. At first … [Read more...]