High Achiever Grievers

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Many grieving people come to see me already self-diagnosed. They believe they are behind in their grieving. They either have read about the model of Stages of Grief or have heard enough to know they are behind or “stuck.” I call these folks “High Achiever Grievers.” They are typically very … [Read more...]

Losing Them, Losing Me

Dr. Patrick O'Malley-Healing Grief

One of the questions I ask grieving folks who come to see me is, “What part of you did you lose with the person who died?” The answers to this question are important in understanding our loss. I hear responses such as, “He really got my sense of humor, ” or “She always thought I had great ideas,” … [Read more...]

Does Time Heal?

Getting Grief Right

I often hear these words from grieving clients, “I am in year two of this grief. I thought time was supposed to heal, but I feel worse. What is wrong with me?” “Time heals” implies there is a relationship between the passage of time and sadness; more time past the loss equals less pain. Most … [Read more...]

Getting Grief Right by Dr. Patrick O’Malley

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This article originally appeared in The New York Times, January 10, 2015. Living with Grief - No Set Recovery Time Frame By the time Mary came to see me, six months after losing her daughter to sudden infant death syndrome, she had hired and fired two other therapists. She was trying to get her … [Read more...]