The Right Way to Grieve

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Understanding how you are “wired” may be helpful to you as you grieve. If you are highly social and need interaction you may desire a good deal of contact with others as you grieve. More introverted grievers may need to withdraw and retreat to process their grief. If you process information … [Read more...]

Family Support

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I have observed a pattern in many grieving families. They fear that if all the family members express the depth of their pain at the same time, the family may cease to function. “What will happen to us if we all have our hardest day on the same day?” The community may assume that family members … [Read more...]

Hesitant to Feel Happy

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Many grieving folks feel pain when they have a moment of happiness after their loved one has died. They often describe feeling disloyal to the one who has died if they have an emotion that is not sadness. Or they describe feeling guilty for having pleasure when their loved one cannot be there to … [Read more...]

Sights, Sounds and Scents

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A few years after our son died I was bathing our dog, and a profound surge of sadness came over me. It took me few minutes to realize that the scent of the antiseptic soap I was using to shampoo the dog triggered the memory of being in the NICU, scrubbing up to visit our son. We know our loved … [Read more...]

Grieving a Difficult Relationship

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Many clients who are mourning come to therapy because they wonder if their grief is too intense or lasting too long. Yet some come because they are not having an intense emotional response to their loss. Often those individuals had a complicated attachment to the one who died. A complicated … [Read more...]

The Beginnings of Grief

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Grief begins with attachment. We are designed to attach. Loving and being loved grows from that attachment. Death breaks the attachment to the one we loved in this physical world. Understanding the specific ways we were attached to our loved ones helps us understand the unique story of our … [Read more...]