Hesitant to Feel Happy

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Many grieving folks feel pain when they have a moment of happiness after their loved one has died. They often describe feeling disloyal to the one who has died if they have an emotion that is not sadness. Or they describe feeling guilty for having pleasure when their loved one cannot be there to … [Read more...]

Sights, Sounds and Scents

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A few years after our son died I was bathing our dog, and a profound surge of sadness came over me. It took me few minutes to realize that the scent of the antiseptic soap I was using to shampoo the dog triggered the memory of being in the NICU, scrubbing up to visit our son. We know our loved … [Read more...]

Grieving a Difficult Relationship


Many clients who are mourning come to therapy because they wonder if their grief is too intense or lasting too long. Yet some come because they are not having an intense emotional response to their loss. Often those individuals had a complicated attachment to the one who died. A complicated … [Read more...]

The Beginnings of Grief


Grief begins with attachment. We are designed to attach. Loving and being loved grows from that attachment. Death breaks the attachment to the one we loved in this physical world. Understanding the specific ways we were attached to our loved ones helps us understand the unique story of our … [Read more...]